top of page

Trust in God and never be ashamed

I'm ashamed all the time. I've been praying, fighting, and believing all to no gain. I mean, my Dad went from being normal to being unable to use a fork. In the last days of taking care of my Dad, my Dad had bell service because he needed it. I just missed a day at work. Like I have time for this shit.

God has been good in certain ways. I was able to help my Dad. Helping my Dad was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. That put my Dad at peace. It matters what happens to you when you get old and sick. There are supposed to be people defending you. So God crucified me so that my Dad could get the care he deserved. That's hard to understand. Why do it in the first place? Why was it necessary?

I'm well equipped to deal with this circumstance, but it isn't working out so far. I work or die. Being homeless would be absolutely miserable. Plus, I have to afford my car if I want to work. It's looking like I'll be homeless. God has been trying to do that for about a decade. Is it the Devil? It's God. How do I know? Because I lack the ability to do what I need to do unless I blasphemy. God would have me overcome the Devil. God doesn't have me overcome it. So it's definitely God. God is destroying me and I've stayed alive by blaspheming him.

Why'd God do that? God manifests sin. For example, this is all about how I didn't appreciate life. I didn't appreciate life so God said I didn't deserve it. God manifesting sin is why unbelievers go to Hell. God is going to make his judgments just. Granted, because I believe in Jesus, I have a second chance to be thankful for living my life. God did manifest sin, however. God manifested me into a blasphemer. That exposes everything wrong in my life. Have to be more thankful. It says in the Bible to "rejoice to everything you put your hands to." That's something we don't talk about anymore. You aren't allowed to be unhappy. Jesus does not give you "joy." Jesus does not take care of everything for you. You don't start believing in Jesus and get whatever you want from now on like a genie.

I'm upset because it's been 15 years that I've been Christian and God has created a living Hell. This is damnation in the flesh. Just one Hell after another pops out at me. But my Dad's taken care of, my family is doing well, and I still have a lot of fight left in me. It is getting absurd. Why I started blaspheming. Guess what! Dad is going to die soon and he can't help you anymore! He's 66 years old, this is absurd.

1 view0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

The 1st

Planning on paying my bills by stock profit. Never done that before. I was dealing with various tragedies all at once. My Dad terrorized me & that's one reason I've never done it. I didn't feel well,

Smoking a cigar thinking

I have to complete my calculations. I'm not going to let it be difficult. Really peaceful. I'm about to achieve what I've worked on for 16 years. I've done it flawlessly. I get to rest now.

Looking for something to talk about.

I know if I complete my website, I'd benefit very much. I like to talk, too. I've recently lost the happiness of talking rhetorically. I've gained rest for my soul. I will never struggle again. I don'


Post: Blog2_Post
bottom of page