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Sex isn't really my thing

I don't really like sex. It's too stupid. Everything about it is stupid. I was thinking about it, and virginity and celibacy aren't really my thing. I can't control it. I've tried to control it for 20 years with no luck. I had times it seemed possible, but it's been 20 years, and I concede that I have a sexual addiction to pornography. This is less than sex, and it is heterosexual and clean. As clean as some smut can get. This isn't that bad of a thing to do, but I'm still not allowed to do it. This would be like having sex for five years and then saying you're a virgin because of baptism. It doesn't work that way. I'm filthy. That's my deal. Open some smut, fry the fish, and explode. It isn't clean. It's filthy. But if I could find a wife, I'd have a legitimate sex life. I'm probably capable of that. Women always notice me. If I had some teeth, I'd be a legitimate candidate for romance. I'm starting that on the 10th. Which is Tuesday. Three days. Then they torture me.


I have a lot to do still. As of tonight, I'm losing some time. It's 8 and I've only worked 45 minutes. Not feeling like doing anything either. I need to fix that.


Do I think I could score a woman in the next few years? Probably not. I may have a mistress around for a while. I'm not really sure. What my deal is that I'm going to be more sexually minded. If I find a girl I like, I may have sex with her. But that's all. I'm willing to have a sexual infracture. It wasn't fornication, and it wasn't adultery. It was sex out of marriage. But neither fornication nor adultery.

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